The end of one year, the beginning of a new one. You may be among the many adults who are resolved to do better at something, or do more or less of something this year. Maybe it's reining in your finances or giving more; being more mindful or more connected to your kids or spouse or friends; eating healthier or exercising; or to just stop taking crap from your ex or your boss or your in-laws or your kids. Whatever it is for YOU, I would like for you to consider that change is never REALLY made from the grand and extraordinary decisions made on New Year's Eve, but in the routinely repetitive daily life we all live.
The little moments of life are profoundly important precisely because it is the little moments in which we live that actually form us. Paul David Tripp
Have you ever lain in bed at night, going through all the less-than-perfect ways you communicated with others that day? Since there was only ever One to walk this earth perfectly, it's pretty certain that you can recall times when you've lost it with your kids or spouse or neighbor....Times when you didn't stop, breathe, and pray first....Times when your feelings of anger and self-righteousness took the place of forgiveness and self-control. You may be thinking, "Well, that was encouraging, Kate. Thanks." But, wait - There's more! And it's going to give you HOPE! Here it is:
The quality of our lives is not set in dramatic moments or decisions but in the thousands of daily little moments.
Please, read that again. I'll wait....(this is me waiting....)
How many times do you think you've lost it with your kids? 10? 100? 1000? No judgement here - my kids are teens now, so you can guarantee that the number of times I have lost it with them numbers in the thousands (Praise God that love covers a multitude of sins - 1 Peter 4:8). BUT, this means that even if you've also lost it a thousand times with your kids...there are still 100,000 more moments in which you showed grace and mercy and truth and honesty and character. And THAT is what matters!
It is the character that is formed in the little moments that shapes how we respond in those BIG moments of life.
- New Morning Mercies by Paul David Tripp
Does that take the pressure off from making New Year's Resolutions this year? It did for me! You see, making a couple of fantastic New Year's Resolutions isn't what is going to make the difference in your - or your children's life. What IS going to make the difference is the day-to-day, down in the dirt, doing the same things over and over again to show them YOUR character in how you make choices and treat others. Are you consistently kind to the person in front of you in the grocery line (or grumble that they're taking too long)? Do you typically have patience with the driver who cut you off (or pitch a fit and call them an idiot)? Do you demonstrate forgiveness of others when they've wronged you (or hold a grudge)?
I'm not saying making New Year's Resolutions is BAD - after all, making and keeping commitments raises Serotonin (the natural chemical which regulates anxiety, happiness, and mood) in the brain and that is always a good thing! I just want to encourage you to know that what you do on the daily matters MORE than any grand resolution you can make and keep (or even break!). Happy New Year!
#ConnectPointMoms helps you create stronger relational connections with the children in your life. This starts with being aware of your own stuff so you can BE PRESENT with your children in the moment you're in, and then knowing and using the best ways to communicate with them!