Updated: Jan 9
I know several people who have never had a social media account - and some others who have ceased using theirs recently. When I found that out, I thought, "Well, that's a little weird in this day and age." I never (oh, be careful with that word!) thought I would be one to not use social media - after all, everybody does, right? Well, here were my reasons I used it - and why those aren't even justified reasons at all!
1. I thought it helped me keep in touch with those I don't see often. But found that it was actually reducing the amount of time and attention I had to connect with the real, physically present people in my life! I was often scrolling Facebook or making a comment on Instagram when one of my boys tried to talk to me. Regretfully, I often made the one in front of me wait until I finished in the virtual world.
2. I thought it would help me get the word out about Connect Point Moms. But found that the clients I got came from the real relationships I had with people in my life. All of the moms I'd spend time with in their homes to offer parenting support were ones I met in the real - not virtual - world! Ashamedly, I was beginning to see people as potential "contacts" rather than human beings created in the image of God.
I want to use things and love people - not the other way around!
3. I thought since I was reading articles from Desiring God and The Gospel Coalition on Facebook, the other time I spent in mindless entertainment would be OK. But found the cost of this type of "recreation" was not relaxation, but anxiety. The good stuff I was learning could not counterbalance the bad stuff that was happening to my brain. My foolish scrolling has (oh God please not permanently) caused my attention span to dwindle drastically as focusing on one task for extended periods of time has become quite difficult for me. Therefore, my ability to be mindfully present in the moment has been almost obliterated. And how can I promote "mindful parenting" when I was struggling so much staying in the present moment????
4. I thought it was so outdated to NOT have social media. But found that I was mistaking busyness for productivity, that I am chronically distracted, can't manage a working memory well, and NEVER have any downtime. There is a reason God commanded us to rest one day out of seven. Constantly checking Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter while waiting in a line, at a red light, for a movie to start, for my kid to finish his story was making me LESS connected with the people in my life - and with Jesus.
For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul? Mark 8:36
5. I thought I could be encouraged by others' stories of success, happiness, adventures, and new things. But found that I was suffering from FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), envy, jealousy, and overall discontent more often. Also, the politics, world views, personal agendas, advertisements, and news stories all created such an overwhelming SADNESS in me. I felt so badly for those who were marginalized, hurt, abused, sex trafficked, lost ... and then I'd feel so badly that I couldn't help all of them ... and then I'd feel so angry over the injustices in the world ... and it just quite literally would spiral out of control. I always felt like I could never do enough positive to offset all the negative in our world. Now let’s be clear, I’m not trying to “hide my head in the sand” because I absolutely believe that God has given each of us a calling to live into. Some of us can delve deeply into one or two issues. Some of us can delve deeply into more. But NONE of us can delve deeply into ALL of them - savvy?
It is clearer than ever that for the sake of my mental, spiritual, social and emotional health, I needed to stop using my social media accounts AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!
BUT where does this leave me now personally and professionally? How can I just STOP using social media?!
Personally, I think: WHAT will I DO when I am waiting? Wait. I KNOW this. Breathe. Breathe again. I am going to get back to mindful meditation! I am going to start by noticing when I feel anxious, stressed, bored, or otherwise unsettled. When I become aware of this, I am going to Stop, Breathe, and Pray. I am going to practice BEING in the moment I am in by having a mindfulness of my feelings, resisting the urge to pick up my phone and scroll, having an awareness of my physical sensations and surroundings and, doing just one thing at a time.
Professionally, since Connect Point Moms has existed for the past almost two years through the Facebook and Instagram platforms, I am going to keep the Connect Point Moms Facebook Group and Page open and exercise self-control and intentionality as to WHEN I am going to interact with them (for example, 15 minutes in the morning and 15 minutes in the evening only - no more constant checking). However, I will continue using this website to write articles and post videos - so, if this site is helpful for you, JOIN HERE so you can get the latest information! If you want my assistance in helping you connect with the. children in your lives, please contact me in person or through this website!
“Who you are, what you think, feel, and do, what you love— is the sum of what you focus on.” Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World
#ConnectPointMoms helps you create stronger relational connections with the children in your life. This starts with being aware of your own stuff so you can BE PRESENT with your children in the moment you're in, and then knowing and using the best ways to communicate with them! For quick, helpful parenting videos, find "Kate Connects" on YouTube or join the Connect Point Moms Facebook group to find encouraging supportive moms struggling through it all together!