Updated: May 3
You may have heard "You can’t pour from an empty cup."
At Connect Point Moms we say: You can only give from what you have!
In this article, you’ll be reminded of SIX easy things you can do to keep filled because you literally can only give from what you have!
#1 First, take care of your own basic needs!
While this may seem obvious, I know many moms - myself included - who have asked their children if they brushed their teeth, taken their vitamins, washed their faces....and then realized that they themselves haven't yet done any of these things! Let us love ourselves well by taking care of our own needs first. By doing so, our children are going to see the need of taking care of their own basic needs. You see, it's not just about what we tell them to do, it's about them watching us and doing what they see us do!
YOU need quiet time and exercise every single day. You need sleep and healthy food at regular intervals. This situation is going to last for a while - it's a marathon and not a sprint, so please take appropriate care of yourself first if you want to best care for your family! If you need help with this, email (ConnectPointMoms@gmail.com)!
#2 Give Yourself Grace
This is NOT the time to be trying to win "Parent of the Year." If you are already homeschooling, you may want to take a step back from your regular schedule a bit to just slow down and enjoy the moments with your children. Children are feeling the same anxiety we are feeling. Empathize with them by saying, "This is hard! But I know we can handle this together!"
If you are new to homeschooling, please know that NO ONE expects you to teach your children like they do in school (well...maybe YOU expect that of yourself and that's why you need to give yourself GRACE). This is all unprecedented territory: Either working from home while trying to help your kids learn...or maybe NOT working from home which means loss of pay which means stress and now you have fight feeling like you don't know enough to help your kids learn what they need to be learning. Stop. Breathe. Pray. These kids being yours is no mistake - you may not have planned for them, but God did. He can give you everything you need. Rest in Him. Trust in Him. Breathe. You are doing amazing work. You are not alone. You can handle this.
#3 See the Best
What you focus on is what you are going to see the most. Therefore, if you focus on: "Those selfish people bought all the food/supplies in the stores!" Then, you are going to experience anger, judgement, fear, and disgust. IF instead, you focus on the food/supplies that you DO have (Let's face it, none of us are starving here - we may not have all the comforts that we're used to, but a little sacrifice can actually be good for us), then you are going to experience a feeling of gratefulness, gladness, relief, and appreciation. In EVERY SINGLE situation there is a "gap" between what you expect and what actually is (See a short visual explanation on this below). What you fill that gap with is your choice - "believing the best" or "assuming the worst."
#4 Set Boundaries
I don't know about you, but my anxiety levels raise noticeably after scrolling social media. Sometimes it's because I worry about the future. Sometimes it's because I feel I'm not doing enough to help. Sometimes it's because I see things in other peoples' lives that I feel like I am missing out on. If you can understand that, join me in remembering what Corrie Ten Boom said,
“If you look at the world, you'll be distressed. If you look within, you'll be depressed. If you look at God you'll be at rest."
Set and stick to clear boundaries regarding social media - or any media - during this time. For example, NEVER let it be the first thing you look at when you wake up! Perhaps, you can set a "15 minute every two hours" rule. Depending on your work/school/family needs, this is a personal decision, but I highly recommended setting boundaries for your well-being and, most importantly, sharing these with someone who can help hold you accountable! Honestly, if I hadn't told my kids I was giving up chocolate for lent this year, I would have definitely given in - but knowing that they know helps keep me accountable, you know?
#5 Stay Connected
Just as important as having media boundaries is keeping up your social connections. Just because we should be social distancing, doesn't mean we can't still be connecting! You can still go for walks with friends....just keep some space between you. You can call or text pretty much anyone at any time. Even better, you can FaceTime with your Apple product or Skype on your PC. You can Zoom with groups or Marco Polo from any smart phone. Just stay connected! Please, reach out to those single moms or others who live alone. We need to stay connected with other humans for our social, emotional, mental, and spiritual health.
We were created for relationships by a relational God and the way we are going to not just survive, but thrive throughout this time is by staying connected with each other.
#6 And then, Give!
We need to continue helping others as much as we can - Let's not let this virus steal our humanity!
When you can shop, make sure to buy just what you need - or what you can give to others. You can volunteer to get groceries for a sick or elderly neighbor who cannot go outside. And continue to donate financially to your local church, food bank, or homeless shelter. If you are fortunate enough to have a home service provider like a gardener, house or pool cleaner, perhaps you could continue to pay them, even if they can't do the work right now? Our economy - especially in Las Vegas - is going to take a hit. But if we have faith in the One who is in control of it all, the One who has so generously lavished grace upon grace on us, how can we also not be generous? As always, know that I am easily reachable on this website, via email, on Facebook, Instagram, or YouTube if you need help connecting better with the people in our life!
#ConnectPointMoms helps you create stronger relational connections with the children in your life. This starts with being aware of your own stuff so you can BE PRESENT with your children in the moment you're in, and then knowing and using the best ways to communicate with them.